Picture a round table. Assorted wedding guests are seated – possibly it’s the notorious Table 13, next to the speakers – and trying to listen to the bride’s sister give a heartfelt speech. The groom’s step-mom is sitting with her back to the speech maker. The groom’s dad, who has imbibed too much and with the wrong concoctions, talks through the beginning of the speech. Behind the step-mom (who has turned off or forgotten to wear her hearing aids) are other guests, shushing him, because – guess what – they want to hear the speech! The groom’s dad decides he doesn’t like their attitude and talks louder, spicing up the conversation with some unsavory words. One of his step-sons, sitting between his mom and step-dad, is the mediator. He knows he can throw a decent punch but hopes, hopes, hopes it will not come to that because it’s been decades since his last bar fight. Also, he’s dateless tonight and therefore just wants to get home and watch Tivo’d sports. The other brother, balding and already guilty of dosing his scary wife with red wine, decides to chime in and talk loud, too, just for fun; he and his step-dad don’t like all the shushing and have decided to take it personally. The single step-son tries in vain to quiet them all, instill some manners, for the love of every drunk person, but fails as Balding Brother and Surly Step-Dad get even more petulant and sloppy. The peace-loving son flees to the bathroom in a mild panic, eyeballing the bridesmaids on his way there. Finally, the deaf-by-choice mom/step-mom sweeps them all away, in a huff, chin held very high; she is irritated because all she’s seen is her husband mouthing words she thought she left behind two marriages ago. Upon his return, the son realizes not only is he still dateless, but now everyone at his table has disappeared.