Define Cognitive Ability


Text exchange, verbatim, 7:41am.  Players: Dad (at work), The Son (at home, in robe, post-cereal, pre-toothbrush).

The Son: Dad.

Dad: Yo.  What’s up.

The Son: Do you think you’ll be able to go up to Sports Authority at any point today?

Dad: Maybe.

The Son: If you do what I wanted to get is the evoshield wrist guard.  If they have it in red that’s preferable but if not black’s fine.

Dad: Your attention to detail on such matters makes me think u shouldn’t suck at Binder.

Please note: It’s all about the Binder in high school (for boys, anyway).  If they fail Binder, go ahead and rename yourself Sisyphus.

Please also note: This was the day after the Concussion doctor declared he’d made a fantastic recovery but he was still making his way back to his normal cognitive ability, which, in The Son’s case, is in direct correlation to his texting ability, i.e. when he wants something he always spells out all the words and uses correct punctuation.  Sadly, I am just relieved he can still identify apostrophes.  Must work on capitalizing proper nouns.

Used his birthday money to buy this but didn’t tell him.