Holiday round up
Number of guests on Christmas Eve: 21
Number of gingerbread cookies decorated by 3-year-old: 4
Number of bottles of sprinkles used by 3-year-old on cookies: 4
Number of hours early 3-year-old arrived: 3
Number of dead rats brought into house by dog once all guests had arrived: 1
Number of days dog has left to be part of family: TBD (Just kidding. We love our incontinent, rodent-killing machine.)
Number of See’s foil-wrapped milk chocolate balls consumed: 71, approximately (not including guests).
Best sentence uttered on Christmas Eve: “You can just give my check from Grandpa to that Wounded Warriors thing.”
Best thing to happen to coffee since the donut: Williams-Sonoma Peppermint Hot Chocolate mix.
Most intuitive gift: plastic saltine cracker holder sleeve. Softball road trips just got 150% more manageable.
Number of gifts without name tags: 32
Number of gifts without name tags brought by Grammy: 32
Number of absent folks felled by flu: 3
Number of absent folks felled by bad decision-making (sadly, 1)
Number of family gatherings where tamales, cassoulet and ham shared the same plate simultaneously: 1
Most traditional dish absent this year: lumpia (see: felled by flu)
Number of toilets that overflowed on Christmas Eve: 1
Number of towels used to clean above-mentioned crisis: 8
Number of new towels ordered online: 8
Most loved gift: Flavor Flav bobblehead doll. If I have to explain this gentleman to you, you need to explore the history of rap.
Most highly anticipated gift: really expensive scotch brought by really rich uncle.
Number of gifts Mr. Halfstory purchased without approval: 12
Number of years Mr. Halfstory has been going against said instruction: 19
And, here is a list of books received this Christmas as gifts: Game of My Life, by Matt Johanson, I lIke You, by Amy Sedaris (not for the weak-hearted), The Rosie Project by Graeme Simsion, Hyperbole and a Half, by Allie Brosh
Have a joyful and safe New Year!